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2024...as I see it

by Ron Holdraker
January 8, 2022

As I see, it as the 2024 Presidential Election approaches (?)... 

Democrats have abandoned the Biden/Harris team for obvious reasons. Biden failed to show up at the convention, and although Harris vigorously objected, she was immediately silenced and the “Ice Queen” was promised an ambassadorship to Iceland.

The ‘New Democratic team’ will consist of Pete Buttigieg and Mitt Romney. Buttigieg for President only made sense since his last name is cool and difficult to spell and Romney pretty much for a host of reasons, also there were no real Democrats who desired the party designation.

The Republicans opted  not to name their party’s designation until after the election. Former President Donald Trump was miffed, to say the least, as the Party considered him old and insignificant.

Presidential hopeful, Florida Governor Republican Ron DeSantis, failed to show up for the Republican Convention, due to ongoing COVID side effects.

In other news, both the Congress and Senate rushed through legislation that members of both houses must adhere to Party Politics and vote with their designated party. Failure to follow this law would result in Republicans being put on Trump’s “voodoo shit list”.

Democrats failing to vote in line with their party would automatically be deemed Republicans.

In an effort to move last minute legislation through both parties, Biden’s “Build Back Better” theme was changed to “Anything Goes”.

The ‘January 6 Committee’ met once again and chastised Ohio Representative Jim Jordan for failure to provide information and a meeting. The Committee noted that Representative Jordan was apparently in communication with the former President on January 6th, and was reportedly involved in efforts to challenge the results of the 2020 election in the weeks prior, and that he signaled a willingness to cooperate with efforts to get answers about January 6th by stating that he had “nothing to hide.”

Jordan is still unaccounted for and believed to be hiding somewhere in the Appalachian Mountain range with backwoods relatives.

Meanwhile former President Trump, along with his pocket Retired General Mike Flynn, and once respected lawyer Rudy Guliani, have come out again embracing bizarre Trump conspiracies.

Flynn stated that even though Trump will not be on the 2024 presidential ticket, he would have easily taken the top post if only somebody, somewhere hasn’t miscounted votes.

Guliani, questioned about the reported snub of Trump emphasized that Barack Obama was not a U.S. citizen and Democrats were indeed eating Catholic babies in the basement of a pizza shop. Guliani was ‘hospitalized’ shortly after.

It was reported that former President Bill Clinton no longer thinks about past indiscretions with women. This came after reports surfaced that Viagra no longer has an effect on the now aging Clinton.

In New York State news, it has been confirmed that former Governor Andrew Cuomo has indeed married his brother Chris Cuomo, since no one on earth would have anything to do with either of the Cuomo brothers.

In other news deniers of racial banter concerning CRT (Critical Race Theory) have now concluded that there was never a ‘Holocaust’ and that American slavery was a nothing short of a myth, perpetrated by millions of really rich Black people. 

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