It was on one of those short vacations my Wife Patti plans every so often that I discovered the use of a rare gem. Yes, I had heard of them before, but to actually discover its personal use had yet evaded me.
Yes folks, the bidet! A device that washes/rinses your butt and genital areas. The posterior device that cuts dramatically the use of toilet paper and cleansing wipes is a major part of my life on the ‘can’. This, by far, is the easiest way to transform your bathroom experience.
In Europe, standalone units were all the thing going back numerous generations. There were the handheld units that pretty much hosed down the derriere, but only for the really chic in an otherwise civilized planet.
Modern electronics have all but done away with separate devices. Now encompassed as part of the toilet seat, a water jet disposes the all the stuff in the anal and attaching areas in a stream of refreshing water.
All but the cheapest bidet units come with slow close lids and built-in night lights leading you to safe in-the -dark landings.
If you are going to partake in this life-changing item, one must learn the finer techniques and advantages. First off, most units encompass a heated toilet seat, especially welcomed on the cold, late night visits and early morning partakes.
Next, the desired pressure of the welcomed flooding. I use the maximum stream with the much anticipated temperature controlled water. Me, I like it hot, hot, hot.
Direction control moves the stream back and forward. You, (I) decide on the amount of time the bidet does its required job.
Of course, no water flush is complete until the fan/air drying which finishes the job.
But, of course ,you can get the added adventure of a fragrance enhancer, something not necessary since my deposits lack the commoner after-smell.
Another advantage to the bidet is the welcomed hemorrhoid relief it provides. Yes, another of the plagues I sometimes encounter.
There are, of course, different versions and cost factors to consider. First, you must have an electric outlet very near to the base of the toilet. No, you cannot and should not use an extension cord. As if I needed to point that out.
Complete toilet-bidet encompassing units are available, but somewhat expensive and not necessary unless you are either remodeling, or in need of a new toilet.
The separate toilet seat units are cost efficient and run from the cheap, $200+ range up to the all-encompassing, everything you could desire units starting at the $500+ price.
Even the less educated moron could install the unit that adapts to elongated toilets. Sorry folks it makes no sense to install a bidet on the standard toilet, thus, they don’t make a very usable device for the disadvantaged non-elongated.
It take less that 10 minutes to install and allows for easy removable for cleaning in areas unreachable at the back of the seat.
By the way, every decent unit also has a feature that keeps the spray clean and sanitary. The betters unit have a multiple user feature to adjust for different user settings.
I do not prefer the attached control units built into the side of the seats. The true connoisseurs of the bidet have a separate hand held, or wall mounted side device that is battery powered and allows changes at the push of a button.
There are numerous manufacturers and they can be purchased either at Lowes, Home Depot, other type of similar stores or online. Even good old Amazon has a bevy of bidets
Yes, less paper squares are used, thus a long term cost savings with the added pleasure of those ahhhhhh moments.
Now for other important things in my life, not listed in any particular order.....
My three dogs (not the two stupid cats), my recliner and, of course, my Wife Patti.
