I consider myself a bit street smart and along with my college degrees and all I have learned, read and taken in over the past 7+ decades, a bit knowledgable on numerous subjects.

History, wars, political knowledge, I’m your man, finances, however, are a foreign language.

I liked algebra and geometry so much in high school that I took both courses twice. It was generally accepted that summer school was my friend, and a barely passing grade was success.

Yes folks, even when I had to take some math in college I found myself lacking in numbers knowledge. Mostly from lack of interest.

It never got better as life went on. Luckily I married a girl that had some sense of bookkeeping, check books, insurance, taxes and household expenses. Side note: I also drag her to doctor’s appointments to fill out any forms that may be required.

I kind of fell into some fortune when, 20 years ago, I bought some stock in a company called Apple and pretty much ignored it.

Without Wife Patti, I would have never bought insurance, or started several investment plans. She did the leg work and I just nodded and signed where she pointed.

In my defense, I do the laundry, vacuum the house, do the dishes and clean the bathrooms and assorted rooms in the house on a regular basis.

She never does outside gardening, mowing or house upkeep. She once asked me how to start the vacuum cleaner and I scoffed at the suggestion. I most certainly would not show her how to operate the lawn tractor, which is good on so many levels for all concerned.

Yes, there is a trade-off in our relationship.

I sit and watch documentaries, news and assorted fluff while she laboriously balances checkbooks, accounts and ensures bills get paid.

I get a weekly stipend (allowance) that I rarely use. Instead of cash, I simply pull out a magic plastic card that  allows me to leave a store, or restaurant with whatever.

We both use the card and take the card companies’ discounts by paying on time every month. She makes sure it is so.

Mortgage, car payments etc., are automatically taken out of our accounts so we never worry. Groceries are often delivered and everyday items like paper towels, toilet paper dog/cat food and supplies are bought in bulk and I estimate we have at least 2-4 months of whatever at all times.

We never buy each other Christmas, anniversary, or birthday presents, since, at this age we discovered if we need something, we just get it. 

I had to ask her what my paycheck was once since I never see one. I don’t know the name of our accountant, or what magical illusions she and Wife Patti accomplish every year.

Somehow, through all this fog, we have accrued healthy retirement funds that should carry us into the really old and feeble stages. Social Security money keeps accruing since neither of us want to retire. SS money automatically appears in our account and is dispersed to whatever.

Recently she made out a "cheat" sheet and placed it in our safe. Yeah,  I didn’t  think we had one, nor do I know the combination. On the sheet of paper are the names of financial and accounting people and numbers, insurance policies and contacts, in case she moves on before me...highly unlikely with her and my family genetics, 

I have wisely decided that any input, or comments on our personal finances would only gum up the works. The system has and is working to satisfaction.

The only question left for me to ponder is what is in the box that was just delivered by Amazon on the front porch, or from whom?

Oh yeah, once in a while it is something special I picked out for my special household financier.