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Getting Old

by Ron Holdraker
January 14, 2023

Remember that song... “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”, a 1970 song by Lynn Anderson and the subsequent movie of the same name in 1977? If not, you probably won’t get much of this column...yet.

This past week I had my yearly physical with all the new and emerging aches and pains. The doctor upped one medication and started me on another and sent me on my way.

The following day I met with my doctor from the  RGH Rheumatology/Infusion Center (Yes, I have 12 different specialists).

I gave him all the updates on my fingers, elbows, hip, toes and whatever   since the last appointment six months ago. He confirmed my current medications and gave me all the newest and latest medications that would cost an arm and a leg. Due to my financial level, new meds would cost in the $2000+ range, every month.

One thing I have discovered after numerous ailments, surgeries, organ removals, etc., is that life comes with a degree of continual pain. Bottom line, you just accept it.

Sure, you take the Advil and Aleve, but honestly the pain only goes away when I actually think about it. Don’t think about it and pretty soon you forget about it.

The same goes with people. I have become a sort of hermit, refusing to leave the house/office without a really good reason to do it. No, funerals are not a good reason to leave the house.

Social media - I eliminated stupid and only accept some people I like.

I go out to dinner with Wife Patti and sometimes with others, but am constantly glancing at my non-digital watch.

I hate parties and Wife Patti carefully picks events before presenting them for my quasi-approval.

I prefer the company of my three dogs and after hours away from home, begin reading their minds.

I cannot identify new songs, entertainers and celebrities and really do not care about the Kardashian family, Taylor Swift and all the rest. Give me old time rock & roll.

Yes, I devour the news, picking out flaws in presentations and love documentaries. I firmly, loudly, protest  idiots.

Wife Patti wants to travel; I prefer travel shows, see all the world beauties without leaving my recliner. Yes, I can see the Egyptian Pyramids in air conditioned comfort.

While Son Wade loves to see actual basketball and football pro games, I push back that I have the entire field of view from my trusty recliner.

I prefer buying in bulk and never, ever run out of toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, dog and stupid cat foods.

Yes, I search and shop -  from my recliner - without going to brick and mortar stores.

I abhor waste and carefully watch if Wife Patti is throwing items out in the trash, or in recycling.

I do not tolerate mean and stupid people

Yes, I drive electric cars, have solar panels and a heat pump water tank. I look forward to more solar and heat pump technologies entering my life. Don’t like it? Go suck fumes.

I do look in the mirror on occasion and notice the wrinkles and changes, but am far from caring about the opposite sex’s opinions of my presence.

Most days I am wearing light sweat pants, often without underwear and prefer comfort over fashion. The best you will ever find me in is blue jeans and possibly an un-ironed shirt.

I detest attorney and car extended warranty commercials and imagine the idiots that fall for them.

Yes, I am old....but comfortable in my clothes and skin. Got a gripe, I’ll hand the phone over to Wife Patti.

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