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I love you honey, but...

by Ron Holdraker
September 21, 2019

On Tuesday night Wife Patti and myself went to see the musical La Cage aux Folles at GEVA Theater. Before the show we went to Kaino’s Greek Restaurant, located on the Genesee River at 284 Exchange Boulevard in Rochester. The restaurant bills itself as the Only Authentic Greek/Mediterranean Cuisine with some American Flare. Trust me, even if you question Greek flare, you will find something to your pleasing here. I had the best meal of my life!

Okay, back to the show. It was fabulous!

Yeah, enough about the night out. Let’s get back to the title of this column. After the show we got home about 10:40 p.m., both tired from our “date night”.

Never turned on the front room lights, just let the three Cavalier King Charles dogs out for their nightly pee and smell. The dogs quickly returned  and they ran into the bathroom, where Wife Patti proceeded to brush their teeth.

The brushing of the teeth is a nightly routine, leading up to one more run outside and the settling in  the bedroom to sleep all  under the Holdraker roof.

Next morning, usually comes at 5:30 a.m., with the three dogs let out the back bedroom door for the morning pee and sniff. This is followed by the cleansing of their food bowls, usually in record speed.

The next item on the morning routine is me going out the front door to get the morning paper, followed by three dogs, usually this is referred as “poop” time, by them, not me.

As I reentered the front door I noticed something odd shaped in the middle of the front room area rug. A closer, look, through not quite focused   eyes realized what it was.

You see, of the three dogs, Miss ZuZu, the only female of the pack and age 9, is the ruler of the roost. She is the calmest, yet the most daring of the brood.

While we were gone on date night, ZuZu, who has been known in the past to jump up on the dinning table - did so. Left on the table was one of those cute, bear-shaped plastic jars full of honey. 

Yes, beloved matron of the dogs, ZuZu, had apparently jumped up on the table, secured the honey jar, then jumped down and settled in the middle of the front room area rug.

Once this task was completed, it was only a short time before the top of the bear’s head was chewed off and ZuZu the Pooh began downing the sweet, very sticky honey.

Now remember, ZuZu is the Queen. No other dog dare try to compete for any of the ill-gotten spoils. The stupid dog not only downed an entire bottle of honey, but embedded a sure amount into the fabric of the carpet. Ever try to  clean honey out of a carpet?

The swearing/ daunting task was left to me. Yes, it took some time to extract the gooey substance with a carpet shampoo device.

Yelling at the dog eight hours after the deed seemed somewhat foolish. The Queen knew what she had done and perhaps felt a bit queasy, but showed no guilt.

As I reached under her neck, the evidence stood out - actually along both sides of her face, jowls, alongside her leg and beyond.

So, not only did I lose a new jar of honey, have to scrub area carpet, I was now faced with the daunting task of thoroughly washing sticky out of a long-haired Cavalier King Charles.

After all the tasks were completed, it was time for the piper to face the scourge and scrutiny of that Thursday morning debacle. “Wife Patti”, I screamed. “Why did YOU leave the honey bottle on the table!

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