We all want our kids to be the best. Whether it’s in school, sports or just life, the desire to raise great kids is paramount for most parents. However the pressure to raise or be that great kid can easily become a daunting endeavor.

Luckily I have the solution:

Just aim for good. 

While raising a valedictorian or top athlete certainly warrants recognition, there is something to be said for simply raising good kids. Ones who know right from wrong. Ones who still hold a door for their elders and say please and thank you. Ones who appreciate and even empathize with others without having a built-in incentive to do so.

Sounds like a pretty low bar, eh?

Maybe it is, but considering the endless barrage of negativity, misinformation and general lack of common decency found on the internet, perhaps raising good kids is one of the best things we as parents can do.

Don’t get me wrong, we all want the younger generations to keep reaching for the stars, but it feels like the pressure to be “great” has taken over.

Let’s use my own kids as an example - which I’m sure they’ll love.

My son is 15. My daughter is 8. They are both very good kids and make me incredibly proud every single day. Not by their grades or athletic achievements, although that’s certainly something to celebrate. Instead, it’s the little things I tend to use as a barometer.

My daughter’s teacher sent home a postcard that simply recognized her for being a good classmate. A new student recently arrived and my daughter was one of the kids who helped make the new student feel welcome. A tiny, seemingly mundane act that the teacher felt warranted a letter home. I’ll admit it’s a little different than the letters my own teachers used to send. I hung it on the fridge alongside several others she has received over the years. She is a good kid.

Then there’s my boy. At 15 he can now see over my head which is slightly defeating, especially when he comments on my bald spot. But every day that passes, I see glimpses of the kind of man he will be and it brings me great joy. He’s kind. He volunteers. He pays attention to the world around him. Will he be an Olympic athlete? Maybe he will cure cancer or become president. While I have no idea what sort of great things he may do, I take solace in the fact he will be a good person while doing them.

For me, that’s enough.

Yes I encourage them both to do well in school, but as most adults will attest, these years will be but a blip on the radar when it comes to measuring their lives in the long term.

All too often it feels like parents are over scheduling their kids and themselves in this hunt for greatness. Whether it’s the parents truly wanting the best for their children or more often than not, trying to live vicariously through them, what impact will all those extra curricular activities and pressure to be the best actually have on the type of person they become?

I think team sports are great and can teach kids valuable lessons, but the fact is that most are not heading to the NBA, NFL or MLB. If they can learn teamwork, humility and the like, go for it. If,  instead, you’re hoping for the next Tiger Woods or LeBron James, ask yourself who you’re really doing it for.

While scholastic accolades or athletic achievements are certainly something to strive towards, what little things are being left by the wayside in the hunt for greatness? 

If your child has natural talent, nurture it. If they’re truly interested in a sport, support them. But remember to let them be kids.

Would I be proud if my son someday becomes valedictorian? Of course. Could my daughter end up being a brilliant scientist? Sure. More than anything, I’m just hoping they turn out to be decent people.

That’s it. That’s the bar.

I try to live my life by a few simple principles and hope my kids follow suit. 

- Pick your battles.

- Know your worth.

- When it doubt, ask yourself if your parents would be proud of you.

If that last one is predicated on some sort of achievement and not simply how you choose to conduct yourself, in my opinion, your parents failed you.

By all means, let’s give our kids opportunities for greatness.

Short of that, let’s just aim for good.