Column readers know I have three Cavalier King Charles dogs, ages 7-11 years old. The dogs shed fur year round and I keep vacuum cleaners in all rooms. They are basically overweight lap dogs that instinctively know time like a clock. Four to four-thirty a.m. wake up, let out and feed. The time is actually good for me since I get the most work done before the day really starts. They know when it is treat and dinner and never let me forget the time, almost to the minute.

Overall they are little trouble and fit nicely into my schedule.

Not so for the cute kittens  Wife Patti adopted from the Humane Society of Wayne County.

Cute is a relative term. We got a brother and sister (both neutered) tiger kitten varieties. Why two? We figured it would be easier in opposition to three old dogs. The balance of power was the   thing -  as they all live together.

The kittens know where to poop, where to eat and are slooowly learning where not to go and they follow the dogs for eating times and snacks. Born September 25th, they are growing like crazy.

In short, the cute kittens are becoming cats. Of course, they do not answer to their names, no self-respecting cat would. They do respond to the shake of the treats box and very loud screams by me. Why screams? Six rolls of toilet paper have been unrolled and scattered. This is slowing down sine I have now trained Wife Patti to close fully close the bathroom door.

No fewer that six house plants have sacrificed their lives, with six others sustaining major damage and replanting. Dirt is scattered about every morning as the obnoxious felines chew, or dig into weary plants.

With the cat nature of knocking down anything and everything, this brother and sister team has excelled. Breakage has reduced since we have learned now - nothing is sacred.

Business papers and mail are scattered about, leading to lost appointments and missing important mail. Cat toys are destroyed in initial outings. Cloth furniture is easily clawed to submission. Attempts at clipping nails is a life threatening challenge.

Of course, both myself and Wife Patti have battle scars from leg climbings, jumps and quick chases of escape from angry dogs.

Overall, the dogs have been cooperative, but sometimes distraught after becoming scratching posts or subjects of a dog bed pillow fight. Heaven forbid if they approach a dog dish while the canines are eating. My lap dogs also hate the intrusion and a fight for lap space ensues.

Leaps upon tables and counters is strictly forbidden and follows with a loud NOOO!

To visitors they are cute kittens, but as we have seen them emerge, they are growing like crazy and are CATS!

Anything hanging, a plant, sweater, shirt are prime targets for the occasional jump and hang on for dear life. A recent visitor was standing feet away and  was shocked when one of the kitten/cats made a huge leap from the recliner  onto his shoulder.

There is the deadly walk in the dark late at night, when the kittens/cats intertwine between your feet in an obvious assassination attempt, or a toy is left on the floor.

The kitten/cats are not allowed in the bedroom at night, unlike the dogs who always sleep near the bed. Unfortunately, when nature calls the human to the bathroom late at night, or upon rising, the rapid animals become faster than a speeding light to gain entrance. Wife Patti lets out with a howl when a cat just sits on her face. Yes, I do get some sort of revenge with the purchase of a small laser pointer that absolutely drives them nuts as they chase the red dot around the room.