Commencement speeches can often be chocked full of optimistic rhetoric and familiar platitudes.

Makes sense. You’re addressing young adults who are on the cusp of the next phase in their lives. No need to weigh them down with negativity or the harsh realities that come with growing up. They’ll figure that out on their own, eh?

But every once in a while, there are some speeches that rise beyond the mundane “work hard and you’ll succeed” lines and deliver a message we can all learn from, regardless of age.

Last month, senior Noah Eckstein took the stage at Harvard’s Commencement ceremony. He addressed his fellow graduates by opening up with what sounded like the start of a bad joke.

“A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walk into a bar.”

The audience laughed.

“I know, historically, the setup is a little bit dicey, but this time was a little bit different. This time, the Christian married the Muslim and they had a daughter. That daughter grew up Christian until she met the Jew, converted to Judaism, married the Jew, and had a son. 22 years later, that son is standing here with all of you, graduating from Harvard University.”

He went on to say “I am a proud Jew. I’m also the proud grandson of a Christian and a Muslim. But that isn’t a contradiction in any sense of the word, it’s proof of a concept.”

That concept is something most of us can hardly fathom anymore, but with just over two decades on this planet, this guy put it as simply as possible.

“Listen like you might be wrong.

There are two sides to every story. Two sides to every conflict, argument, disagreement. Good and bad. Give and take. Right and left. Progressive and conservative. Capitalist and communist.”

While things are often presented as binary choices, most of us know there is more underneath the surface. It feels like we’re more divided than ever, and thanks to the internet, our echo chambers are getting louder by the day.

But Noah had a simple solution to this increasingly complex problem.

“The counter to division isn’t necessarily agreement, it’s understanding.

My grandfathers, one, a Pakistani Muslim who grew up in the middle of the Indo-Pakistani war of 1947, the other, a Jewish refugee of the Holocaust, met many times over the course of their lives. As you might imagine, they disagreed on a great many things.

But still, they acknowledged each other. They cared for each other. Their vast disparity in life experience, viewpoints, ideology, faith, and beliefs, a point of contention, yes, but not a point of division.”

I’ve often said we all have more in common than we realize. But Noah says something has shifted since those coffee table chats.

“On the news, on your timeline, at the dinner table, people speaking without listening, people arguing, having already decided their own allegiances.”

Instead, Noah suggests asking yourself a few questions.

"How did they get to this point? How did they reach this conclusion? Why do they believe this?"

That doesn’t mean there aren’t moral right and wrongs.

“My grandfathers survived the atrocities of war, and worse, and they knew better than anyone that people can do monstrous things. They also knew the most terrifying fact of all, which was the people doing those monstrous things, they were human. And it’s precisely because of that human capacity that understanding them mattered. Dialogue still mattered.”

Noah then asked his classmates and attendees a simple question.

“If such questions of understanding matter that much at that extreme of humanity, how much more do they matter for the people sitting around you right now?”

We all have people in our lives with different opinions. Friends, family members and neighbors with whom we actively avoid certain topics as we know we’re at odds.

“Many of us who come to Harvard have dreams of changing the world, of leaving an impact. But you cannot change a world that you refuse to understand, to talk to. You cannot convince someone of something if you do not understand them first.”

Whenever you meet someone you disagree with, state your case, yes, stand up for what you believe in, absolutely, but also ask the other person about their beliefs. Place yourself in their shoes and ask, "Why do I believe this?" Listen like you might be wrong. That’s not a weakness or betrayal of your own ideals. That is the hardest and most important thing you can do in a world that is constantly telling you pick a side.”

Sheesh! That’s a lot of wisdom for a 22 year old. It’s the kind of optimistic idealism that most of us lost long ago or were never lucky enough to ever grasp in the first place.

As a country, there’s no doubt we have a long road ahead when it comes to reconciling our differences. Perhaps the best way forward is to embrace our similarities first and start with those closest to us. Our friends. Our family. Yes, even that once uncle who sounds like a lunatic.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where you absolutely know you’re right, consider for a moment that the person you’re arguing with thinks they are too.

Certainly stick to your guns and your position, but instead of just being combative, try being curious.

Find some common ground.

Lower your own defenses.

Ask real questions and most importantly of all: just try to listen like you might be wrong.

You can watch Noah’s entire speech on YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=Bz_iIA3kaLI