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Shopping Made Easy...

by Ron Holdraker
December 22, 2023

To be totally honest, I hate shopping - all kinds of shopping.

Take grocery shopping for example. You usually shop at times between meals, making food choices determined by appetite, not by nutritional survival.

Aisle by aisle, your shopping cart fills up. The initial purpose of entering the store was to pick up, one, maybe two items. If you are older, you justify the trip by convincing yourself that perhaps you underestimated the number of cans of tomato soup you have in the cupboards, besides it’s on sale!

Ohhhh, bagels are buy-one-get-one free! I’d be insane to pass that up. Still another enticement is coupons. When will you ever see chocolate chip cookies that low...ever?

Soon, that discounted, super reduced, perhaps discontinued item rounds out the top of the cart.

Yes, you inadvertently squashed the bread on the bottom of the canned goods, but time is precious, just keep moving, piling up the assorted purchases.

Of course, being human, you forgot to bring in the reusable bags, or only brought one in with you since you were only going to buy, one, maybe two things.

You get to the check-out and begin organizing your purchases, by canned goods, frozen, dairy and meat. The girl at the register is scanning too quickly, so placing items on the belt becomes a haphazard pile.

As you rush - you realize your wife put several of the same items in the cart as you did. I guess we cannot ever have enough bullion cubes.

I have often thought that grocery stores would/should offer a service that follows you home and puts everything away. Unloading and putting away is the true enemy of grocery shopping.

It is at that time you realize you already have 100 cans of tomato soup, some dating back to the 1970s.

Your freezer has no room for the ‘two for one’ half-gallons of assorted ice cream you purchased. It is most definitely time to either squash, or prepare that old frozen lasagna for dinner.

Of course, once you put everything away you realize the one thing you were supposed to buy and definitely not forget was the one item you totally forgot to buy.

PART TWO:

As I sit in my recliner,Amazon and assorted retailers have made it too easy to push buttons and order that thing you simply cannot pass up. While you are at it, you order one for the boys as well.

It is simply amazing, you sit back push buttons, never spend actual cash and the next thing you realize is that you know the delivery drivers by their first names.

On top of everything else, the sponsored online retailer now offers you an unbelievable 2-5% discount or cash back by using their credit card. Boy, you can’t lose, great prices and an extra discount to boot!

Of course, reality hits when your wife informs you that your shopping sprees have now matched the federal budget.

It is at this point you come to the realization that you never really intended to leave your offspring anything but a household full of stuff, out of date canned goods, frozen ice capped food, stale cereals and assorted chips you collected over your golden years.

Using this shopping method you have beaten the phrase "You can’t take it with you." 

*****

The next couple of issues will be smaller since schools, governments, etc. are either closed, or subdued for the holidays. Of course, the Law & Order pages probably won’t change much as families gather to either start, or continue family feuds. 

Just a reminder, the Times ‘Babies in Review 2023’ pages will appear in the December 31st issue!

We are not on a holiday schedule and  take e-mails and messages regardless. But, please remember the U.S. Post Office does not keep the same working hours and delivery schedule as the Times. Have a Happy!

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