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Why my favorite color is gray

by Ron Holdraker
October 23, 2021

Look, I have to be honest. In my household we split (?) household duties. I do the vacuuming and cleaning,  most of the dishes, laundry and anything/everything that has to do with outside...gardens, dog poop, mowing, pool duties, care and cleaning the hot tub, etc.

I am not saying Wife Patti does little, or nothing, far from it. She does the ironing (occasionally), some of the microwave meal prep.

One of my main duties is definitely the laundry and I learned long ago how to perfect the process.

First, there is no such thing as separating colors, whites, cottons, delicate (?) fabrics. There is absolutely no difference in water temperatures, machine settings. I do try to coordinate detergent, fabric softeners and any other additives in the same scent, usually lavender.

After numerous washings, bath towels, regardless of original color or fabric composition, come out gray. That is life. I do not apologize for laundry procedures. I look upon it as water/energy savings  combining everything in one load.

Yes, after use as bathroom towels, they are regulated to pool/hot tub use before the scratchy cloths are regulated to the rag bag.

Second, if I time everything right, do laundry at a set time, followed by machine drying, again at one setting, I wear the same clothes each and every day. Some may call this lazy, others may frown at my time saving solutions, but hey, it works for me.

Vacuuming; Unlike some of those fru-fru fancy households, I keep my vacuum cleaner right out in plain sight, near my recliner. Experience has taught me that, with three constantly shedding dogs, fur will fly. I do have air purifiers (two just in the living room) running in hopes of delaying dust settling, but alas... three dogs! 

Meanwhile, ironing piles up as Wife Patti keeps promising to get to it before the last piece of clothing, the last shirt ,  is left  hanging in the closet.

She is also responsible for matching socks, something rarely done and folding pants, pajamas and my dainty delicates into the proper drawer. Instead she simply jams in whatever in the most convenient space.

I hate dishes in the sink, she relishes the quasi-stack building feature of pans, dishes and assorted silverware.  Dishes, pots and pans, that is her form of Legos.

Do we ever run out of dishes unless I intervene...yes. Her answer is to simply use the ‘special dishes’ meant for company, or holidays. Her other alternative is plastic ware and paper plates as standbys.

“Did you read the directions on the box when preparing a fancy meal, I quizzed?” Her reply... “Why, it is always 350º for 30 minutes regardless.”

Then comes the real debate. “Let the dogs out”... her response...”Why, they like you better, besides I think I did that two days ago”.

She is right on that debate. The dogs have come to realize that they would starve, freeze to death, or succumb to sweltering heat, if they relied on Queen Wife Patti.

Clean the toilet, shower area, wash the floors, none of this is on her radar. Make sure we have enough supplies to sustain life.. after-thoughts for her MAJESTY.

Last week it was 50 years ago when I first met Wife Patti. Regardless of her many, many flaws and my work towards perfect perfection, I would not trade the life we have had together for half a century, for anything.

 As for the towels, I now buy the color gray to save the extra step.

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