Gail DeFisher has a message.
It has been 36 years since a 17 year-old girl was speeding down the road in front of the DeFisher house on her graduation day from Newark High School. The girl had been to several parties that day. Later it was determined that she had been drunk driving. She admitted that she did not even know she had hit anything, until someone riding with her told her.
Gail’s son “Stevie” at age 12 was a great kid - with a smile always on his face. “He was always full of life and out enjoying life. Even when he got hurt playing baseball in Little League, he still went out to play, even with a crutch,” said his Mom.
She remembered how he loved to ride his bicycle, play pitcher for his baseball team, go camping and fishing with the family. He had a lot of friends.
Gail reminisced about her haunting memories of the car crash, as she sends a yearly message to high school graduates - Don’t Drink and Drive!
Three little boys, Stevie and his two friends, Todd Peters and Ron Desyne, who lived on the next street, were all riding their bikes, just after dinner. Gail and her husband Pete were just wrapping up the barbecue dinner that Stevie had already finished. They told him he could go ride his bike for a while. They watched as he went down their street to the next corner. In a short time, Gail said that they thought to call him in and maybe go get some ice cream.
It was then, as they looked down their street, they saw a car speeding by. Gail only remembers finding herself sitting in the middle of the road, stunned and not really knowing what had happened. She was in shock. Her husband Pete told her that, as he ran to the scene, he thought he saw a woman in a white dress pick Stevie up and carry him away. No such woman was there.
The car that ran their boy down, did turn back around and return to the scene.
The police were called, Stevie was taken to the hospital, but would never come home. Stevie was born in April of 1971...he died on a graduation night in June of 1983.
Surviving the young man, besides his mother and father were two older brothers, Tim and Keith. With the many years sincehis death behind them,
the memories and the pain never really leaves. “No one who has not lost a child can know how it feels to have a piece of your heart cut out,” Gail said through tears.
“For years, I never really thought about the loss to others. I lost my baby. I did not, in my grief, remember that my sons lost their brother and did not stop to think of their grief. I have since spoken to them about that and told them how sorry I was that I was so absorbed in my sorrow and loss that I did not feel theirs.”
In 1989, the year that Stevie would have graduated from Newark High School, the graduating class remembered him in their yearbook. “I was looking in a duffle bag the other day and found 246 letters that had been sent to us that day, with condolences from students and others. He was liked and remembered,” said Gail.
One young girl, Carrie Hobart, from the Class of ‘89 showed up at the DeFisher door on graduation day and presented Gail with a rose. It was very touching and she said she will never forget the gesture.
Pete DeFisher has passed away two years ago. Gail now feels she has another angel to look out for her. The other boys have married and moved away. Keith and his wife Joyce live in Kentucky with their two children: Ashley (28) and Nicholas (27). Tim lives in North Carolina with his wife Kimberly and their 3 kids, Garrett (30), Amanda (27), and Skyelar (26).
Stevie and Pete are buried in the North Main Street Cemetery in Newark and other family plots are beside them. Pete’s stone has a baseball bat on it, as he was the Little League baseball coach for years in Newark. Stevie’s just has the words “You will always be in our hearts”.
Gail noted that the driver who killed her son has never written or called to apologize or comfort. The grieving mom has, however, after years of visiting a psychologist and praying, forgiven her.
Gail’s message to everyone, but especially to teenagers who are graduating soon -- “You do not need to party with drink to enjoy yourself. Do Not Drink and Drive - please!”
